Tuesday Confessional

I am writing today to let you know that in spite of a few triumphs over my holiday (no turkey, wheat-free bread, etc.) there were also a few hiccups.  Since it was Christmas, I did allow myself some treats.  For example, on Christmas day I had a cup of orange pekoe tea…with a splash of milk.  Over the next few days, other infractions no longer seemed so bad: another cup of tea here, a piece of buttery toast there.  The problem is, the more treats that I allowed myself the more treats I craved.  I found it so hard to go to other peoples’ houses over the break and not eat what they had provided.  That’s not to say that I had a bowl full of beef chili just because it was on offer (I quite happily ate the veggies and fruit), but I would allow myself a glass of wine.

Yesterday, on my way back to my home in the city, the guilt started to set in. I know that associating guilt with food is not good for me–it only makes me want to eat more of my so-called ‘forbidden’ foods. While I had a great holiday,  I am glad to get back to my own place. It is incredibly difficult to sustain this sort of diet while living in someone else’s house…at least I found it difficult. Now that I’m back home, it’s time to get serious about rehab and to take back some control over what I eat.